Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize