You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You need Xanax blowdarts
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
