You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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