gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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