Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
