Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
