I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Dignity is for republicans.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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