Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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