what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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