HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
