Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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