At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
