watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
