i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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