i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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