He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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