your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
