do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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