she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
