dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
