My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize