You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
