i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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