i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
