Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
