Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
