My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
