If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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