I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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