Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
