she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
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I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
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He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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