You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she smelled like a LAN party
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
