i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
