Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
