College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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