i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize