matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
