Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
