do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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