Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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