You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
