Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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