So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
