Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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