just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
