Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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