I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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