Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
