She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
