I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
