We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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