i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
