oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Randomize
