I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Randomize
