just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
