Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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