Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize