SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
