After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
