Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
