Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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